dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize