I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize