You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We are two peas in an std pod
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
