i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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