im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum