Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.