Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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