Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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