i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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