so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize