you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
