Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize