toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize