i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
