At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
