Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
foreskin is a definite game changer
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize