Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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