tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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