is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
