Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
