drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
