Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We had to coat check the pizza.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize