my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Oh god it's open bar.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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