You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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