dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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