Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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