ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
No subtext here. People are naked.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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