you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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