I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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