Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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