My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
