We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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