Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
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scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
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So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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