Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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