Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
