i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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