you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
