Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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