You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
