You work out of a Hotel?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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