Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
