that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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