i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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