When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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