My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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