i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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