So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
