i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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