alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
