i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
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