I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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