Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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