whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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