I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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