ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
